Socializing v. Networking

I don't call myself a social butterfly for just any reason. I love to socialize and meet new people. I find you almost always learn something you didn't previously know when you meet someone new.

Oh, you didn't know there was a Bob's Bagel Mart on Orange? Oh yeah, we go there all the time. Fantastic little bagel shop has the best coffee!

Or,

If you over boil the rigatoni a bit and then layer it with ricotta cheese in a pan, cover it with mozzarella, and bake it for a while you have a tasty Italian dish similar to Lasagna, but a little bit different.

As much as I love to socialize, as much as I love to meet new people and make new connections, I'm as nervous as the next gal when walking into a networking event. Networking events are a whole different ballgame from meeting people in a social environment. These events are designed specifically to bring about people who do not currently know each other in order for them to meet one another. Therefore, you have an event coordinated specifically for a bunch of strangers with the sole purpose of meet, greet, talk! It all feels very forced.

So what is the difference between a room full of strangers at a networking meeting versus a bunch of strangers in a pool room? Why is it I have no issue striking up conversation with the people at the pool table next to me and yet my rare, but still very much real, social anxiety kicks in at the door of the local social media round table meeting?

My theory is that when one meets strangers at a social event, the socialization isn't necessarily expected. It happens naturally. It's what I call organic socialization. At a networking event, it's expected. And not only that, but we as the networkers want nothing more than to present ourselves in the best light. These are those first impression moments, and we want to stand out. I don't know about you, but I immediately become socially awkward when I'm trying really hard not to be socially awkward.

On top of that, while networking events and social events alike bring about people with common grounds, the former usually means the common ground is work. It's what we do for a living, and what we've been talking about all day already. Now we're in a room full of people who are trying to sell their same skills and trying their hardest to outshine everyone else in the room. We all want to leave that memorable impression on the bigwig we just shook hands with.

And what do you talk about after the first five minutes of "Nice to meet you. I'm so-and-so and I do such-and-such for company ABC..."? Occasionally you do meet a person with whom you hit it off, and the conversation typically moves off the topic of work because you've realized you and this person have more in common than paychecks. But when it doesn't, you simply exchange business cards after a slightly awkward silence and move on to the next person.

Now that I've said all that, I still find great value in attending these events. When leaving, I always find that I ended up having a lot of fun. It ordinarily takes me a little while to shake off that odd bout of social anxiety, but once I do, I'm just as sociable here as anywhere else.

The thing about networking is, you're not going to see tremendous career changing results from one event, two events, even a year worth of events possibly. It takes time to build connections. But when you do become someone's go-to person, all that time is worth it. Networking is something we have to work into our modus operandi. Sporadic attendance to opportunities to meet like minded people will mean every time you show up you're a new person in the room.

I'll admit I've been more on the sporadic side in my career so far. I can't attend a lot of them as the babysitter issue is always there for a working single mother. It's difficult sometimes to decide which ones are worth the dollars in child care and more time away from my son, but I think I've let this become an excuse. But no more! I'm making a commitment here for all to see.

I will:
1. Go to at least one networking event a month.
2. Change it up - I'm not going to stick to just advertising and marketing events. I'm going to attend a variety so as to meet more potential clients in addition to fellows in my industry.
3. Be patient and accept that it will take time to build connections and may cost me money to do so.

This Business About Business Cards

Websites are pivotal when working for yourself. Most people know this, they accept this, and they're thoroughly baffled by how to make it happen. Luckily for me, my experience as a project manager for two agencies specializing in building websites has given me some inside know-how on easy ways to make a website. The business cards were another story.

To get nice high quality business cards, you need design files. While I have more design skills than the average Jill, my experience is limited to saving files for web, not print. So I needed the help of designer, which can get expensive if you don't know people.

I should mention now that I am extremely blessed. I have some of the most fantastic connections in the city of Orlando. If you do not, then you need to figure out how to meet the people in your city who can hook you up and do it, but that's a subject for another post.

A very close friend of mine is one of the most talented people I know. She's been behind me the whole way supporting me in every step. She's my cheerleader, my mentor, and just an all-around great friend. I'm lucky that professionally she is also a designer. She is the genius behind my Managed By Rita logo, she collaborated on my website content, and she is the designer of my beautiful business cards.

She is also a full-time art director and part-time graphics professor for a local college, so understandably there was a waiting period for her to make room in her schedule. There were some missed opportunities during this waiting period, and I'll admit I was bummed. Nothing makes you look more unprepared and unreliable than when you're done giving your pitch about yourself and what  you can do for a person and you have nothing to show for it.

Oh you're in social media? Great! Give me your card. I'd love to chat with you sometime about business.

***crickets***

Oops, well, I don't have them yet, but let me give you my number and email on this scrap of paper you're sure to lose in three minutes. Don't hesitate to give me a call...

I have since received my business cards, and they were 100% worth the wait. Not only do I now come equipped with my second most important piece of marketing materials (website being the first here), but they're eye-catching, unique, and something people will remember. Even more important is that through all those missed opportunities I've learned one of the most important lessons in business. Be prepared. Every day. Every time. With everyone you meet.

The Freelancer Signal

So is freelancing mostly sitting around in your batcave waiting for the Rita signal to go up and then you mete out some piping hot social media marketing justice? Because that's how I imagine it.

My friend asked me that in a text message shortly after I'd told him my decision to freelance full-time. I answered with my attempt at a quip:

That's pretty accurate. Don't tell anyone though. Gotta keep my secret identity under wraps.

How awesome it would be if my desk were actually located in my freelancing "batcave," (or butterfly cave in my case) and it was as easy as waiting for the call. There I'd sit, typing furiously on my laptop and my eyes drift to the window as they so often do. Staring off into space, my butterfly signal appears lighting up the sky (a pretty amazing feat seeing as I work during normal daylight business hours...). I jump up, don my super freelancer cape, and fly off to the social media marketing rescue for the client in distress.

Yes, how amazing that would be. But alas, it is not so easy. First of all, as if I need to say it, there's no such thing as a freelancing signal. Secondly, most people don't know they need social media help, and if they do they don't know how to find it. Therefore, a big part of my job is to go out find those distressed clients myself. Then I need to sell them on their own need for help and me as the solution to their problems.

Networking. Selling your image. Showing up everyday. That's how we freelancers get it done. 

The Coffee House Office

Nowadays, if you visit a coffee shop in Orlando during the day, whether it be Starbucks or a little local hole-in-the-wall, you're likely to encounter the mass of freelancers setting up shop. You'll know them by the open laptops, headphones in their ears, papers and notebooks scattered over the table they'll occupy for hours at a time, and they're those pesky people who take calls while you're trying to read your book over your flavored coffee beverage. 

What can I say? Coffee is apart of our culture. For so many of my cohorts in this business, 2 am is when they tell me they're the most creative. The problem with that being your preferred time to work is that your clients are conducting business at the normal 9 to 5 hours. This has led to a high dependency on caffeine for many who work in the middle of the night but still have to "show up" during the day. 

More than just the coffee, the draw is getting out of our home offices for a while. Working from home doesn't always need to mean being at home. Personally, I need my time being exposed to other people or I'd go crazy. We're not all introverts who choose to work this way because we're too antisocial to handle an office full of people.

In fact, the choice to work for myself from home was a big one for me. I labored over the fear I'd become lonely and end up miserable. The coffee house office was my solution though, and swayed my choice to cut ties with the corporate life. Turns out, I get to be more sociable. Instead of the same faces day in and day out, I meet new people frequently.

For a social butterfly like me working in a social industry, this is quite perfect. 

  

What Do You Do?

It's a simple question. Most people have no trouble answering quickly and succinctly. I'm a doctor. I'm a teacher. I'm a general contractor. However, for me this question poses quite a few complications in answering with ease.

It is possible I take the question too literally. What do I do? Well, every day I wake up to snuggles and kisses with the world's most handsome little man. That is, unless he's sick or he woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning. Then, I wake up to whining and tantrums.

Once I've handled my mommy duties for the morning – breakfast, clothes, teeth, and the dreaded daily battle get him loaded in the car and even worse to drop him off at day care – I move on to the work that pays.

I spend the bulk of my day on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and at times Pinterest. Most of the time is on the clock and some of it is personal time just fiddling around. The rest of my "work day" is juggled between various blogging interfaces, websites, and email accounts.

I ride my bike often, practice yoga, meditate, and have lunch with friends and colleagues whenever I can.

I'm a coffee house expert. I know which have internet problems and at what time of day they're most prone to experience them. I have preferences to which I will use as my office any given day depending on what my work load looks like because I know which will have the most conducive environment.

I play pool on Wednesday nights, where I've become the bar room's official website and social media consultant (something I really should consider charging for but what can you do when it's friends asking right?).

I recently opened my own social media management business, so "Business Owner," or "Entrepreneur" should be added to the list somewhere.

I could also answer with, "I'm a writer," or "I'm a photographer."

A very dear friend of mine who hates cleaning pays me to tidy up her house for her on Fridays, so let's add "housekeeper" (which was actually implied with the mommy role).

So there you go. Now, if we ever meet and you ask me that question you will know why I pause before answering. You'll understand why I sputter out some over complicated answer that has you thinking, man I was just trying to make small talk. 

I know that's not what people are after when they ask me what I do. I know they don't want a literal rundown of what I do on a daily basis. They want to know how I earn my money. (That's really what people should ask. Who pays you?)

But truly, I just find this question a difficult one to answer. Perhaps it's because I have a problem with identifying myself under a job title. Perhaps it's because I don't have your typical 9 to 5 job with an office, name tag, and a phone extension.

I guess what I should choose for my answer is, "I'm a freelancer." Yeah, freelancer, we'll go with that.